


"Everything will be alright," he lied.

by sweetNsimple



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Game: Resident Evil 3 Remake (2020), Horror, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Necrophilia, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Zombies, monster fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:49:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28871856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetNsimple/pseuds/sweetNsimple
Summary: And Carlos was tired, he was in pain, he was distracted, he was heartbroken, and he hadn’t slept or eaten in who knew how long, and, and, and – and, in the end, he just wasn’t prepared for the undead guy that slipped out of a side room just as Carlos was thundering past, being loud as fuck, and collided with him.~:~Nikolai leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Carlos’s curls. “Everything will be alright,” he lied.
Relationships: Nicholai Ginovaef | Nikolai Zinoviev/Carlos Oliveira
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	"Everything will be alright," he lied.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Soldier and the Prince](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28843647) by [AnotherAnon0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherAnon0/pseuds/AnotherAnon0). 



“The data on this would be worth millions!” Nikolai had roared. “But, ah, you know how it is – ” His eyes were behind him, making sure his escape was clear. “City’s about to explode…” He shrugged helplessly, stepping away from the grotesque giant the Bio-Organic Weapon had become. “And you can’t put a price on life.” He laughed like he had made a great joke. Jill Valentine was the joke. He gave her a salute with his pistol. “Good luck!” Nikolai took off at a run, uncaring as she screamed his name in rage.

He said he couldn’t put a price on life, but he was really only meaning his own and possibly one other.

~:~

Carlos dashed into a large chamber, a monster of pulsing flesh taking up practically half of the cavernous space. Fuck, it had to be the one he thought he’d just taken out. Facing off with the horrifying creature was – “Jill!”

She pointed at a door to his left. “Go after Nikolai!” She yelled. “He’s got the vaccine!”

Carlos had surpassed pissed off at his boyfriend the moment he learned that Nikolai had left Jill and Mikhail to die. What he felt for Nikolai went beyond rage or betrayal, shooting straight through to a cold kind of hatred that made him flinch at the mention of his name.

He’d always known that Nikolai would always look out for himself first and second and the dollar sign third. Carlos had just fooled himself into thinking that he didn’t need anyone to look after _him_. Now he’d gone without sleep for more than three days, felt like his stomach was eating itself, had bruises on top of sprains on top of strains, and he was all out of friends except for this one woman he had just met and was a magnet for danger. Yeah, a large part of Carlos hated his boyfriend for selling out their platoon and leaving an entire city of more than 100,000 people to die, but he was painfully aware of how quickly and easily Nikolai had abandoned him to struggle alone in a fucking zombie apocalypse.

“What about you?” Carlos called back, hoping she’d say she needed backup. He was thinking he’d rather die with the lady who was fighting even harder than he was to save this city than with his boyfriend who was trying his goddamn hardest to make sure everyone in the city burned.

“We’re running out of time!” She argued. Her eyes kept dancing between him and the monster. “I’ve got this!”

“I know you do,” he answered softly, pushing off the railing. Of course _she_ did. What about him?

He was beyond exhausted, running on fumes, and he didn’t have that many bullets either. He started running again, feeling like all he had been doing these past few days was running, and went after the guy who had only caused death and destruction since touching down in Raccoon City. He was now, undoubtedly, about to leave Carlos to die. About to leave _everyone_ to die, just to make his bank account fat.

“Fuckin’ idiot, Carlos,” he growled to himself as he sprinted. His lungs were on fire and his legs felt like rubber, unsteady with every stomping footfall. His arms were leaden weights that pulled down on him. “Ya – fuckin’ – idiot! _¡Jesucristo!_ ” _Jesus Christ!_ His mind was a mixture of numb from trauma and fatigue, and self-deprecating as he thought about Nikolai.

Nikolai had probably been using him as an easy fuck.

Nikolai had probably never even liked him.

Nikolai had probably always been ready to leave Carlos behind as collateral at the earliest inconvenience.

Nikolai, Nikolai, Nikolai, that heartless fucker that Carlos had let himself believe felt something for him. Like this was some goddamn fairy tale, like love really could change a guy as self-serving and heartless as Sergeant Nikolai Zinoviev, the Silver Wolf of the Russian _spetsnaz_.

But, damn, Nikolai had fooled him.

How was Carlos to know this would happen when Nikolai was a stealth cuddler who liked to watch bad black-and-white films and pet Carlos’s hair while he made horrible puns? It had felt _real_ , the relationship had felt _real_. Carlos had rested his head on Nikolai’s chest to listen to a strong, steady heartbeat that had lulled him into a dreamless sleep more often than he had slept alone the past two years.

If all that had been real, then why was Nikolai leaving Carlos to die alone? Because he thought of himself first and second and the money third. Carlos had always known that, but he’d never considered that there was no fourth place. There never was a fucking fourth place, was there?

“ _¡Idiota!_ ” _Idiot!_ “ _Maldito idiota…_ ” _Fucking idiot…_

And Carlos was tired, he was in pain, he was distracted, he was heartbroken, and he hadn’t slept or eaten in who knew how long, and, and, and – and, in the end, he just wasn’t prepared for the undead guy that slipped out of a side room just as Carlos was thundering past, being loud as fuck, and collided with him. The zombie was heavyset and tall, his arm coming around Carlos’s waist. Carlos’s momentum threw them both to the ground. He rolled, head over heels, and his shoulder hit the linoleum with a sudden and sharp pulsing agony. He managed to end his roll on one foot, the other knee on the ground, and he was going to push himself up and keep going –

And then the world got fuzzy, just for a second, exhaustion and hunger and dehydration and injuries he hadn’t been able to count attacking him while he was down, and the edges of his vision got dark, but he was okay, he could keep going –

And then there was a snarl of pure hunger and something rancid and damp sprayed over the bicep. It was that undead guy, his mouth closing down –

Carlos _screamed_ as teeth gnashed into his flesh, clammy and cold hands gripping him at the shoulder and elbow to keep him still as the monster groaned with endless hunger. The zombie began to tear the skin and muscle from Carlos’s bone and he acted more on instinct than thought to shove his combat knife through the bastard’s skull, three times total, until the monster sagged to the ground. The zombie’s milky, lifeless eyes saw right through Carlos, as if to ascertain him of one thing on this already very shitty week:

Carlos was done for.

“ _¡Mierda!_ ” Carlos sobbed. He managed to shove his combat knife back into its scabbard with nerveless fingers. He pushed himself up and kept running, the only thing he could do, and he wrapped his hand around the masticated flesh of his other upper arm. “No, no, no, no, no…”

Keep it together, Carlos!

Get the vaccine.

Save the city.

Even if it cost him his own life. That vaccine had to get out of the city so that it could be mass produced.

How fucking awful was it that Carlos was running straight for the cure, but he couldn’t use it? It had to get out of the city.

Even if he had to stay behind.

Even if –

He didn’t want to think about it.

“Looks like Jill’s – gonna have to live in a – cold, cruel, – Carlos-less world,” he wheezed to himself, slumping into the elevator.

Nikolai probably wouldn’t even care.

~::~

Boots scraped up the stairs behind him and Nikolai twisted his head to look over his shoulder.

Tension he hadn’t even known he had been holding – and he was aware of holding a _great_ deal of tension at the moment, all things given – eased as he saw Carlos stumble onto the roof.

He turned on his heel away from the helicopter and cocked his head at the sight of the blood drippling down Carlos’s right arm. Without a doubt, Carlos was infected. He had shot Murphy in the head for less.

Well, things were different now, weren’t they? Nikolai had never even liked Murphy. And, behold, there was a cure in his pocket.

“I’m glad to see you survived, _solntse_ ,” he admitted as he pulled the vaccine out of his pocket. He swung open the rear door of the helicopter and gestured for Carlos to get in. “Come lay down. I don’t imagine this drug is very pleasant once administered.”

Carlos looked at him as if he was insane. It was not an expression Nikolai was unfamiliar with.

The younger man was gasping for breath, sweat dripping from his hairline and looking ready to collapse.

“Just like that?”

Nikolai narrowed his gaze, shifting on his feet to scrutinize his lover. “Just like that… what?”

“You’re gonna give me the vaccine… just like that? Ya stole it from Jill and left her for dead and now you’re gonna give it back?”

“Give it back? No, I am going to administer it.”

“But the city _needs_ that vaccine! We can’t waste it.”

Nikolai scoffed. “ _Please_ ,” he sneered. “We _would_ be wasting it if we used it on them.” He gestured over the roof, across a population of living and undead, across a land of fire and destruction and endless hunger. “This is the only good use for it.” He shrugged. “I was going to destroy it anyway.”

“Ya _what_?” 

Nikolai growled and stalked toward his lover. “You bleeding heart. You sentimental fool. Forget about everyone else, they’re doomed!” He wrapped his hand around Carlos’s wrist – of the uninjured arm – and went to jab his other hand with the vaccine toward his lover’s inner elbow. Carlos had always had large veins and it was not a difficult task to see the one he needed.

Carlos jerked his arm free and wobbled backward.

“Stop pretending that ya care! I know ya don’t. I don’t wanna be saved if thousands of other people have’ta die for me.”

“That makes one of us,” Nikolai answered. He went in for a lunge, determined that Carlos was going to get this cure. His arm wrapped around Carlos’s throat, Nikolai having the advantage of being taller and having more mass. He swung them around in a tight circle, cutting off Carlos’s air and making his lover stumble backward into his chest, unsteady from infection, days without rest or food, and other injuries.

Carlos gurgled under the pressure of Nikolai’s arm against his esophagus and then sucked in a deep breath as he shifted his chin down and to the side.

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter if you cure me!” Carlos grunted, straining to pull away. Nikolai had the difficult task of attempting to pin Carlos’s arm with one leg while still holding the vaccine in his free arm. For a man with little to no energy, Carlos was putting up an incredible fight, like a dying animal.

“I’m still gonna hate you.” Those chilling words were spoken in a low growl, making Nikolai freeze.

Carlos broke free of him, tripping over his own boots before he righted himself. The younger man turned and now Nikolai was closer to the stairs while Carlos was closer to the helicopter, their positions reversed.

Nikolai shook his head. “Don’t care,” he decided, giving a shrug. “You can hate me all you want, but you’re going to live to hate me, do you understand? That is the important part.”

Carlos would be far from the first person to hate Nikolai, but that didn’t mean Nikolai had to give him up. Carlos had been a Guerrilla at a previous time and had come out of Bolivian prison with the mythical abilities to be kind and to forgive. Those were two talents Nikolai had long since forgotten himself, but that did not mean he did not know how to take advantage of them.

If Carlos was alive, then Nikolai could have wealth and his lover. All it would take was time and he was a patient man. What was a few dead comrades when Nikolai knew exactly how to make Carlos laugh and his brown eyes go soft with affection?

Who said one man could not have it all?

Already, Carlos had tempered at his words. He could see shock in the younger man’s eyes, expression slack.

“Don’t act like ya care about my life,” Carlos whispered raggedly. “Ya don’t, I get that now. Ya never did.”

“If I didn’t care about your life,” Nikolai argued coldly, “Then you would have been in front when your platoon was ambushed. _I_ kept you back, _I_ made sure that you were not locked in with them. If I had wanted you dead, I would have done it by now! You were never meant to be collateral for this mission.”

Carlos swayed to the side. “Ya say that like ya didn’t abandon me the first chance ya got.”

“I admit, I lost track of you a time or two. Now? Now we are _together_ again. All you have to do is get in the helicopter, I will administer the vaccine and then we can leave. Everything will be alright,” he lied.

They certainly could not return to the U.B.C.S. after this. He and Carlos would have Nikolai’s fortune and themselves as they went on the run while the behemoth company Umbrella was picked apart by vultures. They would not know safety for some time. It was nothing they could not handle, though. They both knew what it was like to be raised in warfare.

It was better, though, to paint a picture of a happily ever after instead of a struggle for survival as he took slow, careful steps forward. Carlos mirrored him, taking just as slow, if not just as careful, steps backward. In this way, Nikolai was guiding a tired and confused Carlos toward the helicopter.

“I love you, _solntse_ ,” Nikolai crooned. His lover flinched. “Perhaps I am not the best at showing it, but I do. Please,” he lowered his voice, chin to his chest. “Don’t leave me in a cold… cruel… Carlos-less world. You would never be so selfish, would you?”

A harsh exhale left Carlos’s overtaxed lungs. The younger man ducked his head, looking every centimeter like he was torn on what to do. “But, the city… Jill…”

“Already doomed,” Nikolai reminded him smoothly. “You can still be saved.” He held the vaccine up and jiggled it with his fingers, drawing attention to the purple liquid. “ _pozhaluysta, moye solntse…” Please, my sun…_

Carlos stopped retreating. He had one hand squeezed around his ugly wound and his feet braced apart as if it was the only way he could carry his own weight anymore. He was out of energy, out of defiance, and if the undead didn’t kill him, pure exhaustion would.

Nikolai was now close enough to touch and he did so, cupping his fingerless gloved-hand around the bowl of Carlos’s skull and pulling them together. His lips pressed against the younger man’s sweat and dirt-stained forehead, nose buried in a mop of dark curls, and he let his eyes close as his lover allowed himself to be held.

Carlos jerked in his arms, a gasp leaving his ravaged throat. “Jill, no!”

The world moved suddenly, his lover shoving him to the side. Nikolai stumbled, nearly fell, and he heard a gunshot. So loud in his head was this single, small explosion of noise that it sounded like the entire world had just ended.

He twisted around and Carlos was on the ground, gasping wetly for breath. Blood was pooling just above his vest.

“NO!” Jill wailed. “ _Carlos_!”

“No,” Nikolai breathed. “ _Moye solntse…_ ” Even as he watched, Carlos stopped breathing, the agony and fear fading from his eyes as his face smoothed out in death. He appeared at peace.

“I – I didn’t mean to,” Jill was sobbing, pistol still in both hands. She was standing just a few steps behind Nikolai at the entrance.

Nikolai stared at her with wild, hateful eyes. “You… _bitch_!” The vaccine slipped from his hand as he pulled out his pistol. She jerked toward him, but her eyes were on Carlos. As if _she_ had a right to mourn Nikolai’s lover.

He shot four times – once for each knee and once for each shoulder. Jill _screamed_ as she crumpled down, hitting the asphalt hard. He shot a fifth time into her one hip and she cried in great, heaving yells of agony.

“Promised you this, didn’t I?” He growled. He pointed his pistol at the vaccine, useless to him now. “Was this what you wanted?” He shot the vial.

“NO!” She reached uselessly toward the shattered fragments of the vaccine.

“Now neither of us can have what we want.”

She was sobbing, trying to move her broken limbs and failing. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”

“Do _you_?” Nikolai spat.

She tried to get back up and could only scream in pain as she failed.

Nikolai sneered at her broken body.

Her eyes, overflowing with tears and rage, flickered toward Carlos’s body. Confusion wrinkled her dirty forehead. “Wait, what…”

Nikolai looked to his lover’s corpse. His rage dissipated as he realized what was happening.

Carlos was moving. Slowly, clumsily, as if he was new to his body. A long, hungry moan rattled free of his chest, mouth gaping open. His dark brown eyes glowed opaque under the artificial lighting of the roof.

“He could have been cured,” Jill breathed. “You could have cured him!”

“I couldn’t,” Nikolai muttered, still watching as Carlos struggled to standing. “Not after you killed him.” His plans rearranged themselves. He saw a new path and deigned to take it. “As it turns out, you may be of some use to me still, Ms. Valentine.”

Carlos was edging his way toward her bleeding flesh, no familiarity left in his slack expression.

“No, not you…” She wasn’t able to crawl across the asphalt away from him.

Nikolai grabbed her by one arm and lifted her off the ground, causing her to scream in pain.

“Here, _solntse, solntse, solntse_ ,” he crooned. “Look what I have for you.” He dragged her toward the helicopter, her spitting and cursing at him as he did.

“What are you _doing_?” she snarled.

“I’m getting me and mine out of here,” he told her, eyes still on his lover as Carlos staggered after them.

“You and y-yours…?”

“Despite whatever impression you might have gotten,” Nikolai informed her coldly. “Carlos is mine and has been for years.”

“Th-that’s not – That’s not Carlos anymore!” She roared with fresh agony as he shook her like a slab of meat before a ravenous predator. Carlos groaned in reply, staggering at a somewhat increased speed. “You _sick fuck_!” She screamed into his ear.

“Are you saying you will not help a friend in need?” He tutted. “I thought you were sentimental.” He tossed her in the back of the helicopter. She landed on the floor of the chopper with a muffled sob.

Carlos went to stumble past Nikolai, but, well – it was best not to take chances on the journey out of Raccoon City. Nikolai’s one hand slipped into his vest while his other grabbed Carlos by his arm. His lover turned to him, teeth bared, and Nikolai deftly slipped behind him and cuffed his wrists together. Carlos moaned, trying to follow him. Nikolai kept one hand on the back of his lover’s neck, the other going to his pants.

“What are you _doing_?” Jill screeched, having struggled into a position so that she could watch in horror.

“Restraining him,” Nikolai answered with annoyance. “What? You don’t want to live a little longer?” He pulled his belt free and wrapped it around his lover’s face, biting the leather into his mouth and buckling it at the base of his skull. Carlos snarled, swinging his head like a rabid dog.

A siren began to go off. The missile was on its way.

Nikolai leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Carlos’s curls. “Everything will be alright,” he lied. He shoved his lover into the back of the chopper. Carlos landed on top of Jill and tried to gnaw on her through the belt, failing for the moment. Jill struggled and was somewhat victorious in protecting herself if only because Carlos was at the disadvantage of not being able to use his teeth, hands, and cognitive processes.

Nikolai pulled the helicopter into the air and kept his eyes on the horizon. At least, he tried to. Jill was being awfully noisy with her snarls and cries, and her excitement was getting Carlos riled up, the poor man being teased with food he couldn’t eat.

He looked down and saw that she was worming her way between the seats into the cockpit, her face awash with tears and pallid from blood loss. Her eyes were drooping, her struggles becoming less. She was going to pass out soon if not die from her injuries. It would be a waste of his effort to kill her now, especially when she was such good bait.

Carlos groaned close to his ear, head butting uselessly against Nikolai’s shoulder.

“Hush, _solntse_ ,” Nikolai murmured. He lifted one hand from the controls to pet his lover’s mop of dark hair. “You will get to eat soon, I assure you.”

“You… sick… fuck…” Jill slurred. “You can’t just… just keep him… like a pet.”

“You misunderstand,” he told her. “I’m not going to keep him like a pet. I’m going to care for him as my partner and lover.”

Even at the edge of unconsciousness, she managed to glare at him with incredible judgment and hatred. “As-s – as your… _lover_?”

Nikolai cackled. “I suppose you can say, not even death can tear us apart.”

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she finally passed out, going limp.

Nikolai witnessed the missile rush past them toward the city. He witnessed its entire destruction.

“Today is going to be a good day,” he decided as the helicopter hit turbulence due to the massive explosion. He managed to right the chopper with only some difficulty.

Carlos groaned against his neck, chewing ardently on the belt as he sought living flesh.

“Soon,” Nikolai purred. “Patience, _moye solntse_.”

~::~

There was a growl, a wet, slurping noise, and then Jill woke up long enough to choke on her own blood before the flesh of her neck was peeled away from her esophagus and trachea.

Nikolai sat nearby in an armchair. He had one leg crossed over the other, an elbow balanced on the arm of the chair with his temple against his fist, and a tumbler in the other hand. He watched with heavy-lidded eyes as Carlos ripped his dinner apart, the sounds of tearing flesh and breaking bones incredibly loud. The ventilation system of Nikolai’s Canadian getaway, a cabin within driving distance of Toronto, Ontario, was insufficient in cleaning away the overwhelming stench of blood and red meat.

Knowing that Carlos was going to be a messy eater, Nikolai had stripped his lover of his clothing before releasing him on Valentine. It had been a good choice as he now witnessed the younger man practically bathe in the fluids of her corpse. Putting a tarp down over the hardwood floor had also been forward thinking on his part. Cleanup was going to be relatively easy.

Nikolai twirled his vodka and took a sip. He had Umbrella’s wrath to worry about as well as his lover’s appetite now. It was why he had decided on a property within reasonable distance of the most populated city in Canada. In a small town, missing persons cases could lead the police straight to his door. In a city of over two million people, a few missing people here or there was just another Tuesday. He was far enough away that he was not forced to hide his lover in an apartment, fortunately, and yet close enough that takeout for Carlos was little less than a two-hour drive.

Carlos snapped an arm free from the corpse and sucked on the meat attached to it. There was gore in his handsome curls. Jill’s bowels had relaxed in death and now there was the reek of urine and feces.

If Carlos could get away with it, he would eat continuously, stuffing his mouth until all the flesh on his bones rotted away and there was nowhere for the meat to go but through his empty ribs. To provide such a feast would be unsustainable, meaning that Carlos would have to go through reasonable periods of starvation. It was not like a few days without food would kill him.

In time, Carlos would become ripe and begin to fall apart. This was a reality Nikolai was going to have to face. He temporarily considered a walk-in freezer and keeping Carlos there to preserve him. However, that meant that Carlos would thaw anytime he was taken out of the freezer and that would lead to even more rapid decay.

They would need a temperature-controlled environment either way, leaning toward cold to not bake Carlos and to keep him fresher longer. Nikolai considered investing in embalming fluids. Without understanding the basis of Carlos’s infection, however, he was not sure if such a process wouldn’t interfere with his lover’s current state of being. Salting was known to preserve meat, but Nikolai was not interested in turning the younger man into beef jerky.

Carlos shakily got to his feet. He walked around the room, soaked in carnage, Jill’s limp hand held in both of his. He did not look at anything in particular so much as that he seemed to have forgotten what he was doing and was trying to remember what that was. He passed Jill’s remains and appeared to be struck by recollection as he dropped to his knees with a groan and continued to gorge himself. This process of forgetting he was eating, stumbling away from his food, and remembering that he was hungry and descending on his food once more repeated three times over the next two hours. He managed to eat Jill’s eyes, nose, ears, and tongue, but his fingers scrabbled uselessly at her scalp. It was as if he knew there was something inside of her skull that he wanted, but he did not know how to get it.

Nikolai was beginning to ask himself if he should get involved when Carlos had the brilliant idea to bash Jill’s skull into the ground over and over until it cracked open like an egg.

Nikolai’s lips curved in proud victory. Carlos scooped brain matter into his mouth, tilted his head back and let it slide down his throat like raw oyster.

Now that selfish bitch really was brainless.

Once a full quarter of the body had disappeared down Carlos’s gullet and his belly was so painfully distended that blue-black stretch lines had formed, it had been a total of three hours. Carlos was a messy eater, but also orderly. Jill’s one arm was nothing but bone fragments across the plastic tarp, Carlos having sucked the marrow from them, and her breasts had been devoured in such a way that Nikolai was almost jealous. Her throat and skull were devoid of all except some tidbits of meat, her shoulders naked to glistening, milky skeleton. Carlos _had_ , at one point during his confused wanderings, begun to masticate one of Jill’s calves, groaning as he slobbered over muscle and tendon. However, he had eventually gotten back up, staggered through three more circles around the tarp, and then returned to Jilly’s clavicle.

Nikolai decided that Carlos was done for the next day or so. He stood up for the first time in hours, instantly catching his lover’s attention. Carlos groaned as he slouched toward Nikolai, hands swinging at his sides.

“It is time to clean up, _solntse_ ,” Nikolai told him. He walked nonchalantly in the direction of the bathroom, listening to Carlos gradually drawing closer and closer behind him.

A hand landed on his shoulder just as they entered the restroom. Nikolai spun swiftly on his heel, one hand going for the nape of Carlos’s neck and the other wrapping around his lover’s knee, lifting his leg and pulling him into the shower. Carlos stumbled when his other leg caught on the lip of the bathtub. Nikolai had to tug him back before Carlos’s head smashed into the wall, lacking the automatic reflexes to stop his own descent.

Carlos turned his head, teeth aiming for Nikolai’s wrist.

“Determined,” Nikolai crooned. “Not today, _moye solntse_.” He pulled his hand back and shoved the detachable showerhead into his lover’s filthy mouth. He turned the water on lukewarm and flooded his lover’s throat, making Carlos gurgle on a growl.

This was going to be the rest of Carlos’s existence now. He was always going to be hungry and he was always going to get as filthy as a toddler whenever he ate and he was always going to want to eat Nikolai. Nikolai brushed filthy, dark curls out of Carlos’s pale face, looking into opaque eyes that did not recognize him.

“At the very least,” Nikolai decided. “You don’t hate me now, do you?”

He turned away only long enough to grab the mouthwash. Carlos scrabbled at him with strong hands, but Nikolai knocked them away and practically forced his lover to drink it. Carlos again growled, nails attempting to bite into Nikolai’s arm through his long-sleeved nylon/micro-fleece shirt. He failed to injure Nikolai.

The moment Nikolai decided that Carlos’s face was clean enough, he snapped up the gag he had taken precious minutes to purchase from an adult toy store, along with other items, they had passed on the way to the cabin while in Toronto. There had been several options, some of them so very tempting such as the spider gag that would have forced Carlos’s mouth to stay open and allowed for Nikolai to insert whatever he wanted down his lover’s throat. However, he had decided that, given Carlos’s lack of care for his own body and how quickly he might start falling apart if he struggled too heavily, they would settle for two other options. He had bought a bit gag like what a horse would gnaw on and a muzzle gag that was simply a head harness with a scrap of thick fabric that situated over the mouth. Since Carlos was still in very good condition, Nikolai grabbed the bit gag and forced Carlos to chomp down on it while he secured the strap around his head.

Carlos’s hands dragged at his sweater, fingers trying to sink through the fabric and his skin to tear him apart.

“I must wash your hands first,” Nikolai told him. “Do not make me bind your wrists before I can wash your hands.”

His lover groaned ineffectively and pushed his head against Nikolai’s collarbone.

He managed to wash one hand before it became vital to bind his lover’s limbs. His other had found purchase under Nikolai’s shirt, raking over his chest in such a familiar, heated way that Nikolai had released his _own_ groan of hunger. He had almost let it happen again before he sternly reminded himself that he was not going to die at his lover’s hands because he was thinking with his cock. He replaced the shower nozzle back in its holder so that it sprayed down on them, making Nikolai’s clothing stick to his body and delighting him with the sight of Carlos naked and wet. Oxygen-starved blood drained from Carlos’s open wounds – the bite mark on his bicep and the small bullet hole just above his collarbone – and left them appearing heavily bruised with infected, coagulated blood just beneath his skin.

He shackled Carlos’s wrists behind his back with waterproof cuffs. Carlos growled and thrust his body against Nikolai, trying to unbalance him.

He wrapped one arm around Carlos’s slick waist, feeling his lover’s meat-stuffed belly between them. With the other, he grabbed a bar of soap and began scrubbing his lover down, starting at his neck.

It was almost therapeutic as he scrubbed the remains of Jill and combat from his lover, making him clean enough to attend an open-casket funeral. He decided that this would not be a terrible way to live out the rest of his lover’s existence.

Carlos was cold and stiff under his hands, chest failing to move, having a heart and lungs that had fallen still. In time, Nikolai anticipated, Carlos would fall completely silent as whatever bubbles of air were trapped inside his body eventually dissipated. He was mostly concerned with how Carlos planned to expel the waste in his guts. Nikolai had the momentary concern of debating whether or not to purchase adult diapers.

Carlos groaned around his bit, swaying in place. Nikolai dropped to one knee, scrubbing soap over familiar, strong legs and long feet.

He had to pause for a breath. Loneliness tackled him unaware and he was, for a moment, forced to recognize that he missed the sound of Carlos’s voice, his warm brown eyes, his white smile. He missed Carlos’s hands on him, those lips that were meant to be kissed by him.

He shoved through the moment with a shrug and a mental ‘oh, well’. Nikolai allowed himself to be content with what he had, which was more than what he would be left with if Jill had shot Carlos and then his lover had not reanimated.

This was good fortune of a sort.

He pressed his forehead against a thick thigh, close to his lover’s flaccid penis. Water dribbled over his face and Carlos almost collapsed in on himself in an attempt to reach Nikolai.

“We are going to have to get very creative with our bondage, I see,” Nikolai muttered. He stood back up and turned Carlos around, his lover’s chest to the wall, and washed his back and his rump.

Nikolai slipped soapy fingers between two full cheeks, forcing them into a lax sphincter. There was no resistance from Carlos. It was so _easy_ to slip another finger inside, and then a fourth, Carlos completely pliant.

Nikolai sucked in a deep breath and pulled his hand free. He was painfully aware of his own erection as well as the stink of death still clinging to his lover. Was that Jill or what Carlos would now smell like until the day he was dust?

He moved on to shampooing and conditioning Carlos’s mane of curls, his lover twisting his head from side to side as he did so. Pink water ran over Nikolai’s hands, disappearing against his sopping wet sleeves. Bits of bone and flesh flaked away – thankfully, Nikolai noted, not Carlos’s, not yet. His lover gnashed at his bit, arms straining as he tried to break his cuffs. His struggles were relentless and pointless.

Once Carlos smelled vaguely fresh, Nikolai turned off the water. He was cold and uncomfortable, wet cargo pants clinging to his legs and erection while the sweater he had slipped on earlier clung like a second skin to his aching body. He was exhausted enough to sleep where he stood, but there was more to do. The bathtub, for instance, was now a disaster of hair, stains, and crumbs of filth that had not made it down the drain. In his living room, he had a plastic tarp laid out with a somewhat devoured corpse on it.

“It would be less work if I got a pet,” Nikolai complained. His lover nudged his face against Nikolai’s chin. His wet body pressed against the older man’s, overtly trying to overpower him and yet reminding Nikolai sharply that his lover was naked and bound.

“I won’t abandon you,” he sighed. “I’ll dry you off and then it’s time for bed. I never want to hear you say that I don’t care for you ever again.”

He laughed at his own joke. Carlos wasn’t going to say _anything_ ever again.

He left the bathtub and led Carlos out after him, proceeding to carefully pat his lover down with a towel. As Carlos decayed, his skin would lose elasticity, making it so that he tore more easily. It would be best to get into the habit early of treating him gently. As gently as someone like Nikolai could.

With Carlos dried, Nikolai successfully led him into their bedroom. He uncuffed Carlos only long enough to pull his wrists in front of him and bind him again. He then brought out a chain and wound it around Carlos’s cuffed wrists and the metal bars of the bed’s headboard, forcing Carlos to lie on the mattress.

He stood back and watched as Carlos at first struggled in place. He did not understand that he was trapped and so continued to try and rise from the bed as if nothing was amiss, only to be foiled by the chain once more. However, after some minutes, he quieted. And then, after several more minutes, he fell deathly still.

Nikolai hardly even realized that he had been blankly staring, not thinking of anything. He had practically fallen asleep on his feet. Nikolai forced himself to move. He decided that the bathtub was not so important, and he threw some bleach in it before rinsing it down quickly. He would give it a more thorough cleaning before his own shower the next day.

The good news about renting a cabin outside of the city was that the previous owner had left behind their large chest freezer in the basement, very likely a hunter. Nikolai cut Jill’s remains at the waist and separated them into two separate garbage bags, bagged them up twice, and threw them into the chest freezer for later. He wanted to reuse the tarp but decided he would rather buy a new one then scrub down the one that was fouling up his living room. He bundled it up with its leftover waste and threw it into another garbage bag that he then also tossed into the basement to deal with later. The cabin still smelled of iron-rich meat and shit and he had no air fresheners. He turned the air conditioning to a low temperature and reminded himself that he had slept in much worse conditions.

As the house grew chillier, he finally changed out of his drenched clothing and dried himself off with a different towel from earlier. He was shivering somewhat, and his legs were trembling, and his arms felt like they might snap off his body. He had not been this tired in a very long time. He did not have pajamas with him, so he did his best with one of the sweaters he had stowed away and a pair of boxers. The cabin, by the time he trudged back into the bedroom, was so cold that he wanted to sleep outside instead where, surely, it was warmer.

He was rethinking the option of getting pet with increasing certainty.

And yet, he looked up and there was his lover, spread out in their bed in their cabin, familiar and new and, for the moment, undemanding.

Nikolai sauntered to his lover’s side, caressing his fingers through dark curls. Carlos, who had been as still as a corpse, turned his head toward the touch soundlessly.

“So affectionate for someone who said they hated me,” Nikolai drawled. As exhausted as he was, heat was coiling in his gut. His lover always had this effect on him, even now. Carlos Oliveira had always been handsome, had always been bright and warm.

Now he was cold and stiff, a monster chained to Nikolai’s bed. And yet, still so very dear to him.

He retreated long enough to find the bag of things he had grabbed from the adult toy store. He had had the foresight to grab condoms, lest sticking his dick in Carlos cause him to get infected like an STD. He also had lube and he approached the bed with both.

He nudged Carlos’s legs apart and sat between them, squirting lube onto his fingers and dipping them back into Carlos’s slack hole.

Carlos attempted to arch off the bed toward him. He only succeeded in thrusting his chest toward Nikolai, who took the invitation to nuzzle his face between his lover’s furry pecs. He avoided the fetid bullet wound above Carlos’s clavicle.

He didn’t dare open his mouth and suckle on his lover’s nipples like he wished to. He could only rub his own whiskered cheek against them, abrading them until they began to turn a dark blue-black.

His lover writhed beneath him, hands pulling at the chain above his head. His legs squeezed around Nikolai’s waist, drawing him closer.

Nikolai pressed his nose into Carlos’s hair as he fingered his lover open. He was hazy, somewhere between asleep and awake, and what he wanted to do was have sex with his lover before finally resting. He was not expecting to last long, but he knew Carlos would not mind.

His fingers inside of Carlos made slick, slurping noises every time he pulled out and then pushed back in. A shudder worked down his spine as he listened, fucking into his lover with four digits so hard that Carlos was pushed up the bed. Those opaque eyes rolled toward him without love or excitement or arousal. There was need and hunger, though, and Nikolai could work very well with those.

He pulled his hand out and managed to fumble a condom foil open. He jerked his cock out of his boxers through the front slit and rolled the condom on, giving it a few tugs to coat himself in lube.

Nikolai pushed his legs underneath Carlos’s, one hand planted on the bed by his chest while the other led his dick to his lover’s gaping hole. He pushed inside with a groan, eyes rolling shut.

“No,” he growled. “No, this will not take long at all.”

Carlos was cold inside and his chill felt decadent against Nikolai’s lust-induced heat, like a soothing balm. He grunted as he began to move, thrusting into his twisting, thrashing lover.

His other hand landed on Carlos’s chest, pulling and pinching one of his nipples. The younger man was helpless but to tighten his legs around Nikolai’s waist and incessantly, without realizing that his method was useless in getting fresh meat into his gagged mouth, pull the older man closer.

Every thrust was accompanied by a grunt from Nikolai, his hips slapping against his lover’s ass cheeks loudly in the otherwise quiet room. His other hand found its way to Carlos’s pectorals, torturing the remaining nipple, and his cock fucked into his lover over and over again. He hadn’t intended to be rough, but Carlos kept dragging him back with his legs, the demanding creature, and his chest was still arched toward Nikolai as he struggled in his bondage, and he was cold and loose and quiet, like a peaceful winter day.

Nikolia’s eyes slipped shut as he climaxed inside of his lover, groaning lowly as he grinded his hips against Carlos’s ass.

“You thought I didn’t love you,” he murmured in a rough, cracked voice. “Foolish man. Stupid boy.” He collapsed forward, gasping, and he rubbed his hot forehead against Carlos’s cold chest. “What is this if not love?” he asked rhetorically. “Never doubt me again, _solntse_.”

Carlos was still pulling him in with his legs, calves and thighs unfairly strong. Nikolai allowed himself to rest over his lover for a few more minutes until he realized he was drifting off to sleep. Reluctantly, he pulled away, forcing Carlos to release him from the trap of his limbs. He discarded his condom in a nearby trashcan.

After some deliberation, he decided that he did not want to take the chance of dying in his sleep. He did not have a second bed made up just yet, however, so he stripped the bed of its quilts from beneath his lover and folded them up in his arms. He pressed his forehead to Carlos’s affectionately. “Sleep tight, _solntse_ ,” he murmured. “I will see you tomorrow.”

He turned off the bedroom light behind him and shut the door.

The living room still smelled vaguely rancid, but not too horrible that he was not able to stretch out on the couch with his mountain of quilts.

He stared at the ceiling for some time, so exhausted that he had surpassed the need for sleep like a mere mortal. His body ached after days in the field, and yet he also felt good from his release. He debated the risk of leaving the condom off next time so that he could see his cum dribble out of his lover’s loose hole. No, he was far too self-preserving for that. He could, hypothetically, jerk off on Carlos and cum across his pretty body. For however long Carlos was going to be pretty.

And then what? When Carlos was more rot and bones than flesh, what would Nikolai do?

Then, Nikolai decided, he would invest in a walk-in freezer.

Nikolai’s eyes fluttered shut. “Everything will be alright,” he lied to himself.

He was very good at that.

**Author's Note:**

> In AnotherAnon0's 'The Soldier and the Prince' - such a well-written rape roleplay, please read and comment on their work if that is content you like to read - they wrote: "Your corpse will be stained by my seed until you rot!"
> 
> I read that line over 24 hours ago and haven't stopped thinking about it. You know what happens to corpses in Resident Evil? They. Come. Back.
> 
> I listened to In This Moment as I proofread this and I began proofreading this at 1:03 in the morning. I stopped proofreading at 2:17 in the morning. There are very like going to be mistakes. Please tell me your thoughts and feelings. I'll start with mine: I use too many similes.


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